About The Song
In September 1980 Bobby Bare released the album *Drunk & Crazy* on Columbia Records under catalog JC 36785. Among the fourteen tracks was the brief, tongue-in-cheek number “I’ve Never Gone to Bed with an Ugly Woman,” written by R.C. Bannon and clocking in at just one minute and fifty-seven seconds. The album came during a period when Bare was leaning into humorous, adult-oriented material that reflected his irreverent personality and long-standing love of clever novelty songs. Produced in a straightforward Nashville style, the record captured Bare in a loose, barroom frame of mind that suited the drinking-themed collection perfectly.
R.C. Bannon, a respected Nashville tunesmith who had written hits for other artists, crafted the song as a classic late-night confession. The lyrics draw from the familiar experience of closing time in a smoky honky-tonk, where dim lights and alcohol blur reality. Bannon’s writing played on the old saying about beauty being in the eye of the beholder, turning a potentially risqué premise into a light-hearted admission that many listeners could relate to with a knowing chuckle.
The song opens with the narrator reflecting on nights spent “losing track of the wine” and “looking through red eyes at the blues.” He admits to chasing dreams down neon avenues and making decisions under the influence of liquor and candlelight. The repeated chorus delivers the punch line with perfect timing: “I’ve never gone to bed with an ugly woman, but I’ve sure woke up with a few.” The verses continue the theme, noting how a flickering candle and a few drinks can change one’s perspective until morning brings the sobering truth.
Bare delivered the performance with his trademark warm baritone and deadpan humor. His relaxed, conversational phrasing made the cheeky lyric sound like a story told over a late-night drink rather than a polished studio take. The arrangement stayed simple and rootsy, featuring acoustic guitar, subtle rhythm, and just enough honky-tonk flavor to keep the mood swinging without overpowering the vocal. The short running time gave the track the feel of a quick, memorable barroom anecdote that listeners could replay with a smile.
Although “I’ve Never Gone to Bed with an Ugly Woman” was never issued as a charting single, it quickly became a favorite album cut among fans who appreciated Bare’s willingness to embrace witty, slightly risqué material. It fit comfortably alongside other humorous tracks on *Drunk & Crazy* and reinforced his reputation as an artist unafraid of clever novelty songs that poked fun at everyday human foibles. The album itself reflected Bare’s creative independence after years of label shifts and helped keep his name active with audiences who enjoyed his storytelling side.
Over the decades the song has remained a cult favorite on compilations and reissues drawn from Bare’s Columbia catalog. It later appeared in Bear Family box sets that document his complete recordings from the era, preserving the original masters for new generations. While it never achieved the commercial heights of some of his earlier hits, the track stands as a clear snapshot of Bare’s playful side during the early 1980s when country music was shifting toward more polished sounds.
More than forty years after its release, “I’ve Never Gone to Bed with an Ugly Woman” continues to entertain listeners with its sharp wit and honest humor. What began as a short album track on a rowdy collection became a lasting example of Bobby Bare’s gift for turning everyday regrets and barroom truths into memorable country music that still brings a smile. The song reminds fans why his relaxed delivery and impeccable timing made even the most light-hearted material feel completely authentic.
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Lyric
I’ve served my time losing track of the wine
Looking through red eyes at the blues
Holdin’ on ’til the very last song
Tryin’ to make up my mind who to choose.
Chasing a dream in a whisky world
Down the neon avenue
And I’ve never gone to bed with an ugly women
But I’ve sure woke up with a few.
Ain’t it funny how liquor and the flicker of a candle
Make you see it from a different view
Oh, I’ve never gone to bed with an ugly women
But I’ve sure woke up with a few.
I’ve met more than one morning lyin’ there
Groanin’, cryin’, “Lord what did I do?”
Hangin’ my head as I slipped from her bed
Tryin’ hard not to leave any clues.
When I start out the evening I’m being selective
But I’ll take anything after two
No, I’ve never gone to bed with an ugly women
But I’ve sure woke up with a few.
Ain’t it funny how liquor and the flicker of a candle
Make you see it from a different view
Oh, I’ve never gone to bed with an ugly women
But I’ve sure woke up with a few.
No, I’ve never gone to bed with an ugly woman
But I sure woke up with a few…